Constant Balancing Act

1:29:00 PM

Time. It can really sneak up on you. 

There are those crazy stressful moments when you feel like giving it all up. And then you remind yourself "No, you are not a quitter." There are those rare moments when you feel like putting a stop to it all. Then, you look back at all the blessings in this life that you may at that moment take for granted and say, "No, I won't stop doing what I'm doing". There are moments when other people might question the reason you are pushing yourself to do more and sometimes beyond your own capacity. BUT you have faith and believe in yourself more than anyone else. 

As much as I'm blessed with a lot of support as I've mentioned before,  I cannot deny and also remember when I started aere there were doubters questioning my switch of career as I'm a blogger and was a lawyer at that time. So there are some who doubt that I will even make it the first year. Also maybe because of the brand that I've done even before aere some thought I was just playing around with the idea of having my own brand. I never played around. I was always serious about it. But because of that and more, I became one of those who doubted myself self too. My own self-doubts might have crept up, but its something that I needed to just brush off and ignore. The continuous fight against our own self-doubts and fears, even more so what other people think. 

Career wise, the focus was and still is on building the brand till what it is now today, and beyond. 

It’s almost the end of 2017 now, and I recently celebrated aere’s 3rd birthday (and my own 33rd birthday). I mean, wow, has it really been that long? I didn’t even really realize it. 

Its been over 3 years of me officially being in the fashion industry with aere.

On top of that, before aere I’ve been working as a lawyer for almost 7 years - and I studied for 5 years to get my law degree.  

So that’s 15 YEARS since I finished high school!!!

Time really flies.

You realise this when you start to just hit the pause button and reflect for awhile. In my case right now, as I blog this post.

Now, I'm a mom too and I've been one since 5 years ago.  All praises to the Almighty for this blessing. 

I’ve always been someone who has always been very determined to achieve my goals, either for work or personally. I believe that when you want something, you really have to work hard for it. 

You can’t expect it to come to you. Just like that. Without any effort.

And for me, that means full dedication and commitment, working above and beyond what is expected of you, long, long hours, sleepless nights and also working weekends if necessary.  We need to give our all. 

After that, the rest of it, whether it becomes a success, a failure, an achievement or a mistake, all that is by the will of a Higher Power, not within our control.

And now being in the fashion industry, where everything is lightning paced, I really have to be on my toes - and I also have to juggle between work, family and being a mother to my children. So sleepless nights are very common - although it’s not good for you.  (I have to try my best to control it so that it  doesn't happen to often though. My father always remind me in his ways to take care of my health even though work is very much important too) Just last night, I continued to think about aere's future plans as well as planning my postings, arranging my content creation, started to write this post and slept at about 5am and woke up at 8am this morning to continue working, though at this moment I'm not physically at the office.

My work revolves a lot around my gadgets, laptop and perhaps most importantly my phone for social media and to communicate with multiple people for work. So my work follows me everywhere I go as long as I have my phone  with me. Sometimes nowadays I even do my photo and text editing, draft posts and blog from my phone. What people don't see is that work is never ending for me and there are a lot of sleepless nights (way before I became a mom). So I basically work everywhere and anywhere. Non-stop. Apart from being busy with work, now I'm also being a mom to my children. Juggling it all is very satisfying and fulfilling at the end of the day despite its challenges.

These are the issues that are very common with today’s women though not many open up about it. Women like me who juggle their careers and family and live in this fast-paced and non-stop lifestyle - and this definitely will affect us and our health in some way or the other.

For me, work and life in general is fast-paced and exhilarating. Juggling work and personal life is constant, non-stop. 

It's a continuous struggle to find time. 

The constant balancing act. Balancing work and our own personal life. Sometimes, when you love what you do so much or when you're so passionate about your job, you can't switch off and you forget that it is actually work. It might be a bad thing sometimes as you ignore other important things in life, but it also can be an amazing thing because it means that you actually love what you do. But we all need to strike that balance. At least, I know I do.

Back then (actually not that long ago) I sacrificed everything else for work. Not just the closest ones to me like friends or family but also myself and my own health. I've experienced a burn out before. Right now the constant struggle is to balance work with other important things in life like, family, friends, and my own health be it physical, spiritual, emotional or mental health. How do I try to lead a healthier lifestyle? It's not just about eating healthier food or spend more time exercising which I try to do weekly. It's also about making time for our loved ones, family and friends, find ways to de-stress, find other things other than work that we enjoy doing and make time for those things.

I'm blogging this for my future self because I love to pen my thoughts so that it acts as a reminder when I forget and as I am human, I always forget.  

When you're going through it all it might get really lonely and it feels like you're facing everything alone and as though no one understands what you're going through as you don't even have the time to talk to anyone about the challenges you're going through because you're continuously just juggling everything you have in your life.

To everyone else reading this who are juggling and going through the balancing act, facing the same thing, remember that we are not alone, never alone. There are millions others just like us juggling everything and all we need to do is reach out. Life is never meant to be easy for anyone. It might seem easy on the outside but people don't share everything, no one does and it is never easy. 

In the midst of all that, enjoy the journey, embrace the blessings and gifts. Being busy is a blessing and a gift in itself as well as it means that we are blessed with health for us to be able to do everything that we are supposed to do. Life in itself is a blessing though we often forget especially when we go through hardships and the stresses of life.

Expectations are all around us. From our career from our personal lives. Sometimes we feel that we are not doing enough for one or the other. Sometimes, those expectations doesn't come from others but as I personally have experienced a lot of times, it comes from within, from my own self. Pressuring myself to do better and become better. But, as much as we do that to ourselves, never forget to pause, breathe, reflect and try to balance it all out.

Take it one step at a time. Everyday is another opportunity and chance to change for the better. 

Participating in a recent Instagram campaign for Ponds the past month makes me realise its important for me to take care of myself and it made me reflect and explore on how I work, how I juggle everything and how it is a constant battle. So, thank you Ponds for having me on board with your #iamnonstop IG campaign and for making me feel like  sharing and blogging about this issue.  It also reminds me of aere's LOVE collection campaign that aere showcased in Jakarta Fashion Week last year and released earlier this year. No matter what we do, don't forget to love ourselves enough to take care of our entire being too.

In this post I'm wearing aere's CEARA Top from LIFE collection paired with Sugarscarf and also featuring an organza top from the CHANGE collection on my mannequin and not to mention my children's soft toys, milk bottle and a book by FashionValet titled the Rise of Malaysian Designers in which I was featured together with other respected designers.


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